The Mariners this week released their newest spate of amusing commercials, to be aired throughout the season. Over the years, the club has produced more than 100 of them, these ranking as our favorites:
“Tribute”, 2006: Pitcher Jamie Moyer, baseball’s oldest first-time All-Star (40 years old in 2003) sits through a Ken Burns-style documentary about Moyer’s career, which mentions the “fact” that he broke into baseball as a wide-eyed batboy in 1926 and pitched the first night game in Major League history nine years later.
“Carny Randy”, 1994″ Playing “El Rando Grando”, 6-10 left hander Randy Johnson hurls knives at a woman strapped to a spinning wheel. His first throw is outside and low, his second a strike down the middle. “Aren’t you glad he decided to pitch for the Mariners?”, a disembodied voice asks.
“Epidemic”, 2006: This spot features a variety of everyday people going about their ho-hum jobs much in the same way that Ichiro, the Mariners’ star right fielder, goes about his (especially as he gets ready to hit).
“Sorry”, 2009: After striking out a befuddled Colorado Rockies batter, Felix Hernandez sends his luckless victim a nice note of condolence and a basket of flowers.
“Encore, Encore”, 2011: 2010 American League Cy Young Award winner Felix Hernandez, famous for his competitiveness and for never wanting to exit a game, dons a disguise designed to mask his true identity from new manager Eric Wedge.
“Blinded”, 1999: During a “game” played on a bright, sunny day, Jay Buhner, known for his real-life clubhouse pranks, uses his bald pate to cast a reflection from right field that completely blinds the batter at the plate.
“Edgar and the Rookies”, 1998: Edgar Martinez gathers several non-English speaking teammates and instructs them on how to get along in Seattle. Among other things, Edgar teaches them how to order a latte, and introduces them to a geoduck, or “gooeyduck”, as we like to say.
“Junior’s Bet”, 1996: Inspired by a real-life stunt in which outfielder Ken Griffey Jr. lost a “dinner” bet with Lou Pinellla and paid up by leaving a cow in the manager’s office, Griffey leaves several sheep in Piniella’s office when he loses another bet. “I hope he’s hungry,” says Griffey.
“Lou The Therapist”, 1994: Then-manager Lou Piniella plays “Dr. Lou Pinella”, a shrink who chews on an emotionally-challenged patient in need of moral and emotional support. At one point, Pinella barks, “You are acting like a loser!”
“The Clapper”, 2004: Designated hitter Edgar Martinez, about to embark upon his 18th and final season with the Mariners, demonstrates his new Safeco Field lighting scheme, to the profound astonishment of catcher Dan Wilson and first baseman John Olerud.